Mass Effect: I was lost without you
Mass effect © Bioware
By Danny Buell
A Mass effect 3 fan-fiction
Shepard was standing in a dark forest, his legs frozen, his feet deep in mud, his arms reaching out. As the ashes fell, so did his tears. The land stretching away before him, a white spotlight shinning down below. The screams of so many pouring into his ear. On the other stretch of land, a beautiful Asari with tears pouring down her cheeks. Her form-fitted combat suit accentuated to every curve on her body, his lover… Liara T'soni.
" Liara!" He would shout, but she would still cry, admonishing his cries.
"I thought you were dead Shepard… It has been two years…" Distant whispers echoed. They pierced just more than his heart but everything he stood for. Her image was what kept him from letting Saren finish his mission or let the Collectors allow the Reapers.
Shepard opened his eyes, hearing the voice of Doctor Amanda Kenson over the loudspeaker, blaring into his ear. In front of him was the terminal for the Asteroid launch systems just away from the Alpha relay. The estimated casualties of Batarians in the system was just too high. He had to make a choice though. The Reapers were coming in less than a few hours. It was that or lose everything he lived for, Humanity, earth… and Liara. That beautiful Asari he only met on a dig sight. That was two years ago. That life was over. She left him with Cerberus, letting them rebuild him from ashes and into who he was. That didn't mean she still wanted to be with him. She had "Debts" to repay. Why not? It isn't like she has to wait a century for him to die anyway before she could move on to someone else. She was one hundred and eight. She didn't have to be in a emotional relationship, she could have any race she wanted, why him? Grew up in a gang, sole survivor, first Human Spectre, killed Saren, delayed Reapers, knew so much about the Protheans, and was killed by the Collectors. Maybe in his luck and knowledge of the Reapers and Protheans would be his first guess.
" Shepard…" Liara called out from behind. Shepard turned around, his eyes wide open. "Would you seriously forget me like this? Do you think I would forget you?"
Shepard tilted his head in shame but also in pain. He looked back at the countdown timer on the wall, watching the seconds slow down. He looked back at Liara.
" Have you?" He stepped forward.
He could feel her biotic allure drawing closer to him. Her human like body, her soft blue eyes. He didn't care if she had hair or lumps of folded skin over her scalp. He didn't care if the pigment of her skin was blue or that she was the Shadow Broker. All he cared about was Liara. The women behind the physically attractive appearances.
His arm reached out to hers, waiting to feel the warmth of her body that he hasn't felt in reality.
When he opened his eyes, he quickly drew his hand back to his torn and bloody side in defense. Before him was a hue of blue in the shape of Liara. Though it wasn't her. Around him, death and explosions, the ominous siren of a Reaper. He was on the citadel, the Crucible attached to the bottom of the Citadel. His armor, shredded, a wound on his abdomen was bleeding slowly and painfully, his right arm good but limp. The magnum gun anchoring his arm down, his left arm holding the wound.
" You have a choice." The catalyst said.
Shepard turned his head, gazing at the high powered blue energy beam running from the Crucible and into the Citadel. On the left and right are his choices. He was tired, weak, and dying. But something kept him alive. Something was fueling enough energy inside of him to respond. He looked at the catalyst, blood pulsing in his arms.
" But don't you see! Organics deserve to live."
" For what?" It snorted. "To create more chaos? To have the cycles end so that each cycle may end itself."
" Then let that be our fate." Shepard said, grunting. " Organics survive, and that is our prime instinct. You wouldn't understand, because you're a synthetic. You will never know us. You will never understand that we have more to live for than just our destruction."
" History has proven it. The Geth and the Quarians--"
" You cannot determine the fate of the galaxy because of the actions of others! There are people in the galaxy that just want to see peace… and I've proven it." Shepard's eye brows sank in sadness. "Judge the galaxy off of me, not others."
The catalyst stopped to think for a moment, he didn't really considered the possible fate. Shepard was the first organic to show retaliation against the Reapers, he proved everything organic life had to offer. He made peace with the galaxy to stand strong and stand together against the Reapers. He made peace between the Geth and Quarians, two races that have been fighting for a single planet for centuries. At that moment, there might have been a third possible choice… The catalyst looked up at Shepard. "Well… there is a third choice."
Shepard tried to smile but his muscles and face burned with pain. "What is it?"
" It's called Synthesis." He laid his hand out showing down the center path to the laser beam. "Your choice."
Shepard directed his eyes down the path. He thought about it. It beats destroying the galaxy. He thought of Liara, not forgetting her gift before the final fight. The vision of light in darkness. Liara clambering onto his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. He thought about Joker, saluting him in the bridge before he set out. He thought about Garrus, " I'm Garrus Vakarian and this is my favorite spot on the citadel!" That made Shepard chuckled.
" Hey Commander!" Shouted Vega, " I made N7, can you believe it? Since there isn't a former training class… I see you as my teacher."
" Sure Vega… but if you want to stay in N7, no more shuttle crashes, alright?"
" You got it, sir."
Shepard was still limping towards the beam, now reaching the center of the platform, it was still a long walk.
" Aren't the stars so beautiful?" Asked Liara.
" Someone could get lost in them. Find someplace where they could run away and… live in peace forever."
" They could." Shepard held onto her hand tightly.
Shepard reached the edge of the platform, dropping the pistol. "I'm sorry Liara." He muttered, his eyes swelling, tears running down his burnt face. He stepped back a few feet, then with all his strength, he sprinted down the platform, arms spread wide, falling into the laser with his eyes closed. All those memories, they were all he had left. Now all he had to do, was wait for Garrus at the bar he talked about.
Shepard gasped quickly. His heart beating like a war drum. Thump thump, thump thump, doubling beats per second. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead and chest. He came to realize where he was. He was sitting on his cot in the Normandy SR1, he could tell by the blue illuminated lights racing from top to bottom of the door that led in and out of his cabin. In between those lights was "Normandy SR1". He gasped harder. It was a dream. It was a dream. It WAS a dream.
He peered over his shoulder, feeling warmth emitting from a living source at his side. Liara's tender limbs were curled up at his side underneath the blue Alliance blanket draped over his bed. She was sound asleep. She was real. He gently unraveled himself from her, sliding his legs over the edge of the bed. When his feet hit the cold floor, his pulse jumped, the shock of the sudden temperature made him jump a little, enough to wake Liara up. She moaned with a smile, not forgetting the intense and passionate night they had together. She crawled up behind him, pressing her body against his, resting her chin on his broad shoulders.
" What's the matter?" She whispered into his ears.
The horrific dream of death still lingered in his mind though, was it fate? Was that truly what he had to be. If so, he wanted to make his last moments with Liara what they could be.
" I saw death… destruction… and…" He closed his eyes, trying to hold in the pain.
" And what?"
" And my death." He stood up, grabbing his underwear. Liara slid her legs over the edge, standing up and reaching out to him but he moved away.
" I don't know what is real anymore. Maybe Saren is just a dream and all of this is some story a stargazer is telling to a child on some random snowy planet. Maybe…"
She draped her arms around him, pressing her warm and naked skin against his, her soft tender lips touching his. After a long passionate kiss, she tilted her head back. " If we all die tomorrow, or if this a dream, then it'll be a dream I'll never forget, because no matter what happens, I love you."
" I love you too Liara." He held her tightly, kissing her. In his mind, he still couldn't shake off the memory. Maybe in the future this will be his fate but for now, all he had was Liara and nothing was stopping him from living peacefully with her in his arms. Not even a horrible fate that would talk away much more than just his own life but the choices and everything he's done. If that was the future, he knew that was his fate to accept and that no matter what, he'll be waiting for Liara.
He lowered her onto his bed, leaving a few inches apart from their mouths. "I was lost without you." He whispered.